The Scab

November 3, 2017


First is the itch 

A struggle to resist

Then the peeling edges 

So tempting to assist

Desire overwhelms

And she picks pulls rips

Revealing pristine pink flesh 

For him to mar once more

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Let me preface this post by saying that it is very important to me to be a person who doesn’t judge, or seem judgmental, towards others.  However, it is more important to me that I defend what I think is right – or stand up against what I believe to be wrong.  I hope readers agree.

This morning I read two disturbing blog posts from Amanda Goodman, an anchor with KWWL Channel 7 News, located somewhere in Iowa.  I encourage everyone to read the posts “We are PARENTS – not FRIENDS” and “The ‘Entitlement Generation'” on Amanda’s cleverly named blog, Anchor Mom.  The gist of these blogs (or my interpretation, at least) is that parents today are too easy on their children, and that kids these days have a sense of entitlement, don’t respect adults or authority figures, are praised rather than challenged, and are basically “spoiled, entitled brats.”  Although broad generalizations (and something every generation in history has said about its youth), all ideas I might tend to agree with on the surface.  Wait, though, she also indicates that it is okay to physically abuse your kids (insert the “record scratching to a stop” noise here).

While Amanda claims her parents didn’t “beat” her, she proudly writes about being “hit with a wooden spoon,” and how she “got the back of (her) mom’s hand to (her) mouth” if she back-talked, and that one crazy time when she missed curfew so her mother grabbed her hair and “literally ripped (her) out of the car…(with) a good grasp on (her) scalp…nails digging into (her) head…”  All of these examples are apparently just Amanda’s ideas of good parenting, since she goes on to state that “I am thankful I was raised the way I was raised in the era I was raised in.”  (Yes, she used the word “raised” three times here.)  She also writes, “Clearly (my parents) did something right (with a happy face/winking emoticon).  And let’s be real for a minute, it wasn’t all about a wooden spoon.  It was about manners and respect.”

Amanda, may I suggest (actually, recommend) that you can teach manners and respect without physically hurting your children?  It’s my opinion that hitting is an indication that the parent doesn’t have the patience to properly discipline their kids.  As a result, the easiest (and probably most self-gratifying) thing to do is to lash out at the child who is acting up.  You say your parents didn’t beat you, but getting back-handed regularly (or ever) is abuse in my book.  You say it teaches respect, but I believe it teaches the opposite of respect – it teaches a child that it is acceptable to hurt someone if they do something the child doesn’t like.  Abuse at home is a leading cause of bullying at school, but I’m sure you already know this from your anti-bullying efforts, which your station’s website mentioned.  Abused children are also more likely to become abusive parents.  Hopefully you haven’t already discovered this.

Suzy Kassam said, “Stand up for what is right, regardless of who is committing the wrong.”  I’m not saying, Amanda, that your parents were horrible people or that they didn’t care for you, but they were abusive.  I know you will probably continue to disagree with my opinion that what they did was wrong.  Despite this, I at least hope you don’t (mis)treat your own children the way you were (mis)treated.  You don’t have to hurt kids to avoid “send(ing) spoiled, entitled brats into the world.”  I’m no expert on child abuse, and I’m far from a perfect parent or person.  However, I’m a good enough parent and person to know that if I ever see you yanking your child from a car by the hair, you will have to deal with me.